It has come to my attention that I need time away from everyone and everything. I need the beach and its sand between my manicured toes. The color on my toes this month is a dark red, so dark red that it is almost the color of dried blood, making it nearly black. You can read into it any way you'd like.
Where I want to go used to be to visit a friend of mine in CA. But now that has slipped out of my grasp and I'm no longer holding the boat that would have taken me away to where I needed to be: away from here and with him. Oh how I wish I was with him.
But I let go of the ropes and the boat is floating passengerless out into the open ocean on a dark warm night, silent as it crosses the moon's beaming path. The water laps against its sides as the world yearns the lack of me on board the boat to my version of heaven i.e. visiting my friend.
So next up is a beach trip. I will be by myself, I will read on the beach and get a healthy tan by myself. I will get food by myself and go to bed by myself and it will be totally about me and for me. I will relax. I will miss people like so much that I'm sure I'll find some nice ones to talk to. I'm leaning toward somewhere easy like Bethany Beach. My parents are comfortable with Bethany since we've been there so many times and the prices aren't too bad at this one place we're familiar with. I'll give you an update if I get away on this little vacation after all, but for tonight that's where my head is it. Hopefully I'll even dream about it.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sierra Nevada Mountains
Here's a painting done with acrylic on canvas of a photo taken on Outward Bound. Outward Bound is a nonprofit group that takes people out into the wilderness around the US and world. The trips usually have a focus such as: sailing, or backpacking, with a particular time restraint and age group. They teach about surviving in the wilderness and getting along with members of a team, as well as techniques such as Leave No Trace. It was so worth it and I reccommend Outward Bound for anyone.
decisions, decisions
I'm open to suggestions. I have to decide what to do about a potential visit to see a friend of mine. He lives in CA and I in VA, so this is a long-distance trip over which I would be flying. There is by no means nothing wrong with flying. It is the superb luxury. Walking into that tiny enclosed space with all those other cozy passengers -- there's nothing better! There is even a convenient bathroom that has lately been filled with soap that actually smells good. Last I checked that had a scent from Bath'N Body Works to use as hand soap. Once there was some lotion as well. How can we complain when we have airplane bathrooms with these things? How can we complain when we're pissing (or ...) into a pretend toilet. What we all know but don't want to admit is that we are suspended in the air right now. There is no toilet use. Anything we let out is just flying out the bottom of this airplane and probably smacking some poor unsuspecting bird in its face, or on the top of its head more likely.
Back to the decision that I have to make. It has to be made before Friday because that is my day of departure. I want to see this friend of mine because he is open, kind, intelligent, very funny, and handsome in kind of a Adam Sandler sort of way. By that I mean a sweet sort of sexy - the kind of guy you want to lay back and relax with.
Now the only thing getting in the way between me and him is my parents. They question the safeness of this potential trip with me being a single female traveler and all. I am young, they say, (young compared to who, you, my parents? well of course.) and it would put me into a position that may turn out being unpleasant. But isn't that how we learn to avoid those unpleasant situations in the future: by being put into those very positions by free choice? Regardless, nothing unpleasant is going to happen to me on this trip. He's a great guy and we want to see each other. It should be no more complex than that.
But it is because my parents have threated not allowing me to return to where I go to college for fear that my ability to make safe decisions regarding my humanness would be left questioned after such actions were taken. I'm sure just about everyone in the world can relate to this situation, but that's not the point. The point is something I am unsure of.
Back to the decision that I have to make. It has to be made before Friday because that is my day of departure. I want to see this friend of mine because he is open, kind, intelligent, very funny, and handsome in kind of a Adam Sandler sort of way. By that I mean a sweet sort of sexy - the kind of guy you want to lay back and relax with.
Now the only thing getting in the way between me and him is my parents. They question the safeness of this potential trip with me being a single female traveler and all. I am young, they say, (young compared to who, you, my parents? well of course.) and it would put me into a position that may turn out being unpleasant. But isn't that how we learn to avoid those unpleasant situations in the future: by being put into those very positions by free choice? Regardless, nothing unpleasant is going to happen to me on this trip. He's a great guy and we want to see each other. It should be no more complex than that.
But it is because my parents have threated not allowing me to return to where I go to college for fear that my ability to make safe decisions regarding my humanness would be left questioned after such actions were taken. I'm sure just about everyone in the world can relate to this situation, but that's not the point. The point is something I am unsure of.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Psychlogy of Women textbook
The love relationships chapter stands out among the other chapters of the textbook because I am so interested in how these relationships work for different people. The topics included in the love relationships chapter are so immediately applicable as they discuss issues that arise in daily life over power dynamics within relationships. When I flipped through the textbook at time of purchase I stopped at this chapter and read as much as I could. Going to read it the second time around the issues and terminology seemed so familiar, as I had read it before out of curiosity. My interest in love relationships is insatiable. So when a textbook presents these topics to be discussed in Academia I am thrilled!
There are certain characteristics that males and females look for in a partner to share a friendly, sexual, or romantic relationship. Both men and women clearly include attractiveness as one of their priorities. Men, especially, are said to be more visual than women and give a lot of attention to physical appearance. But what does that mean men and women are looking for? What are men and women looking for when attractiveness is rated as being particularly important?
I am going to begin questioning of the relativity of attractiveness. The emphasis that attractiveness is an absolute that should be everyone’s goal to reach via diets, tanning, waxing, hair coloring, or plastic surgery is harmful. Attractiveness as a concept that can be defined is not helpful; it is relative, and created on a very individual basis. The question to be asked: is attractiveness relative and if so why is it not advertised that way? Instead the traditional statement that “men and women value attractive individuals,” only leaves everyone thinking to himself or herself something like: ‘oh – I guess that means they value skinny, athletic, symmetrical individuals, which excludes me’. Though there are certainly beauty standards that when met qualify a person as being especially attractive but there is a problem with this sort of logic. The question we need to be asking of people is not what is attractive but what is attractive to you? With the addition of those last two words, to you, we change the whole question. It even begins tapping into a different part of the brain, requesting that the person think from a more honest space inside of them. We grow up learning about things outside ourselves as well as about ourselves and sometimes we find two very distinct worlds. We may be attracted to more robust body types with bridge noses and a few pointy teeth because pointy teeth are sexy. At the same time we may know very well that what is attractive is thin, athletic, symmetrical proportions and a healthy overall appearance. But that isn’t what is attractive to us.
Ask love partners why their partner is attractive to them and then ask them what special quirks their partner has in his or her physical appearance and we find answers that are very different, almost coming from different places in the brain.
The point is to improve mental health and longevity and one way we can do that is by acknowledging these two different questions: what is attractive verses what is attractive to you? What is attractive to you allows the person to think about their own appearance in relation to others and come up with a response that not only benefits society because of the truthfulness of it but also benefits the person because it allows them to answer from a more truthful stance.
Perhaps it would be helpful to look at the roots of this ideal beauty in women. Women created the concept of ideal beauty back in the early days of marketing because it was them who were interviewed, not men. Women were interviewed and asked to report on what they thought men found most attractive. Men were never asked and if they were they would report a very wide range of features that they find attractive. For example men might prefer able-bodied women with more curvy features. The point is that attractiveness is relative and should not be discussed without including this disregarded aspect. What is attractive is indeed skinny (very skinny), athletic, healthy, symmetrical, etc. But what is attractive to me is a very different story.
There are certain characteristics that males and females look for in a partner to share a friendly, sexual, or romantic relationship. Both men and women clearly include attractiveness as one of their priorities. Men, especially, are said to be more visual than women and give a lot of attention to physical appearance. But what does that mean men and women are looking for? What are men and women looking for when attractiveness is rated as being particularly important?
I am going to begin questioning of the relativity of attractiveness. The emphasis that attractiveness is an absolute that should be everyone’s goal to reach via diets, tanning, waxing, hair coloring, or plastic surgery is harmful. Attractiveness as a concept that can be defined is not helpful; it is relative, and created on a very individual basis. The question to be asked: is attractiveness relative and if so why is it not advertised that way? Instead the traditional statement that “men and women value attractive individuals,” only leaves everyone thinking to himself or herself something like: ‘oh – I guess that means they value skinny, athletic, symmetrical individuals, which excludes me’. Though there are certainly beauty standards that when met qualify a person as being especially attractive but there is a problem with this sort of logic. The question we need to be asking of people is not what is attractive but what is attractive to you? With the addition of those last two words, to you, we change the whole question. It even begins tapping into a different part of the brain, requesting that the person think from a more honest space inside of them. We grow up learning about things outside ourselves as well as about ourselves and sometimes we find two very distinct worlds. We may be attracted to more robust body types with bridge noses and a few pointy teeth because pointy teeth are sexy. At the same time we may know very well that what is attractive is thin, athletic, symmetrical proportions and a healthy overall appearance. But that isn’t what is attractive to us.
Ask love partners why their partner is attractive to them and then ask them what special quirks their partner has in his or her physical appearance and we find answers that are very different, almost coming from different places in the brain.
The point is to improve mental health and longevity and one way we can do that is by acknowledging these two different questions: what is attractive verses what is attractive to you? What is attractive to you allows the person to think about their own appearance in relation to others and come up with a response that not only benefits society because of the truthfulness of it but also benefits the person because it allows them to answer from a more truthful stance.
Perhaps it would be helpful to look at the roots of this ideal beauty in women. Women created the concept of ideal beauty back in the early days of marketing because it was them who were interviewed, not men. Women were interviewed and asked to report on what they thought men found most attractive. Men were never asked and if they were they would report a very wide range of features that they find attractive. For example men might prefer able-bodied women with more curvy features. The point is that attractiveness is relative and should not be discussed without including this disregarded aspect. What is attractive is indeed skinny (very skinny), athletic, healthy, symmetrical, etc. But what is attractive to me is a very different story.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
About Me
- nereid
- I am a recent college grad with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology. I'm working in a coffee shop. I plan to pursue at phD in Counseling at George Mason University. The Nereids, however, are mystical female creatures that dwell in the Mediterranean Sea. These beautiful women were always friendly and helpful towards sailors fighting perilous storms. They are believed to be able to prophesize. As my blogger name "nereid" implies, there is a connection between me, the college student, and the Nereids. And that connection is this blog. I effectively use this blog to pretend I am not a college student. With all of the stressors of daily life this blog lets me dwell in the sea. I am, after all, a Pisces which is the fish, a water-dwelling creature. I hope my prophetic nature will show but if not there is another purpose to this blog in that it is like a journal! Please feel free to read all about my life; what's here is yours to take.
Subscribe To My Blog
Posts
All Comments