because you dance in my head...

in psychology class my teacher was telling us that often times we don't know what it is that attracts us to certain people. and she brought to our attention that the statements "i am interested in men" or "i am interested in women" are invalid statements.. because they incorrectly claim that we are interested in every single man or woman in the whole world. something to think about ...

About as much as I understand life,
I understand why you persist in my mind
and kiss me sweetly in my dreams.
my straightforward trajectory is lost,
as my eyes are lost in yours.

thanks margaret

this blog is entirely dedicated to my beautiful and amazing friend margaret...because she suggested i make a webblog. little did she know it was actually a brilliant idea for me at this point in my life because i always have so much on my mind.

goodnight.

not yet accustomed to blogging.

I went out to dinner with some amazing people tonight. While we were eating dinner my focus was on the table next to ours. There was a beautiful family with children who were creating quite a scene...not in a negative way or anything. At one point the little girl had the "balloon man" (who was walking around entertaining the kids) make her an extremely tall crown out of those balloons that can be twisted into shapes ... and she was so beautiful. Anyway, at one point I noticed her father staring at her for what seemed like forever in this loving gaze. And it was in that moment that I was reminded of how unbelievable the relationship between parent and child really is...and how fascinating humans are in general. we make love and create new life...and the new life is so much like us...and somehow, as parents, we have to refrain from wanting to caress and hold these little balls of joy that are known as our children 24/7 -- and somehow parents do. so as i looked into the father's adoring eyes, I remembered how my dad used to look at me when i was little....And I remember a week ago when I was at home...and how my dad still looks at me the same way...that loving gaze that says you are my heart. this is love. When I have been away from home for awhile and I walk through the door...he sees me and his face lights up like I am a christmas present. he doesn't stop smiling for a really long time as i update him about life ... sure, it dies down as we get back into our normal schedules ... but it is in these moments where love is completely uninhibited that it warms us to the bone...and feelings like that aren't easily forgotten. oh, my father. he would die if it meant saving me...i know that seems sort of expected, oh of course your parents would die for you... but stop and think about it... internalize it... love isn't so confusing afterall. love is in my father's completely honest reaction.... his selfless expressions of delight as he hugs me like a big goof ball and kisses me with his big sloppy lips ...

I lay my head down tonight with a smile.